So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
