i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.