Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.