What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We need to get me chipped asap
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings