apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize