hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying