If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for