i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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