So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
did i just pee glitter
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
