i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize