she woke up with a sticky ear
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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