the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
