Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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