dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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