Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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