So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
