Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We have so much sex to catch up on
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
