I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
