He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize