Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
