I got chris browned last night
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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