she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
