I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize