even my farts smell like vagina
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
