then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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