Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
