I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
