i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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