On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize