Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize