Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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