I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just found puke in my bra..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on