At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.