Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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