DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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