Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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