Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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