You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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