thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
