Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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