well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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