Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
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If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean