She announced her abortion via fbk
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize