Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
