I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
