Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
