Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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