what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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