dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My vagina is officially offended.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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