She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he fucked my hip out of place.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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