i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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