is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
