i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize