i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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