yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...