I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh god it's open bar.