btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
