we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
