Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Someone stole a lamp last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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