youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Randomize
