I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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