I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
