I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize