I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize